Words or silence – both
speak volumes.
Joy ignites smiles when clever persons
respond with humorous replies. We need good clean fun, and dry-witted people
often provide that. In addition, pleasures arrive when a person responds with the
right answer at the right moment. Several stories about word usage come to mind
from a favorite book of mine, “Viva la Repartee,” a collection of “clever
comebacks and witty retorts from history’s great wits and wordsmiths.”
Calvin Coolidge, the thirtieth president,
was a man of few words, earning the nickname, “Silent Cal.” After returning home
from church one Sunday morning, the First Lady, Grace, asked, “What did the
preacher speak about today?”
Coolidge replied, “Sin.”
Disturbed by his lack of detail, she
wanted to hear more news of the sermon she’d missed, “Well, what did he say
about it?”
Apparently enjoying the moment, Coolidge
replied, “He was against it.”
In the 1900s, Joseph Choate and his
wife lived in England while her husband served as ambassador. While at a London
party, the host suggested they play a game. She asked partygoers to name the
person they’d most like to be if they were not themselves. When Choate’s turn
came, he stood and glanced toward his wife before providing his diplomatic answer:
“If I could not be myself, I would like to be – Mrs. Choate’s second husband.”
As refreshing as clever words are, silence
can prove stronger than words. When an intellectual discussion goes over my
head, I dive out of the conversation and swim into the shallows of silence. There,
I can seem contemplative instead proving my ignorance by speaking. “Blessed are
they who have nothing to say, and who cannot be persuaded to say it,” said
James Russell Lowell.
In this year of studying, reading,
and searching out humility, I’ve concluded that silence becomes trademark of a humble
person. However, silence can be the wrong response whenever we see evil and our
integrity demands a rebuttal. At those times, we must gather the courage to
respond, but for this day, we address the good nature of silence.
Consider these effective ways to practice
silence: Within a small gathering of people, when someone has received praise,
remain silent and allow them to bask in the rewards of their labors.
How about swallowing pride and
backing out of opinion based squabbles by saying, “You could be right,” and
then remain silent and listen to the other person. However, don’t stew in silence:
truly contemplate their stance on the issues.
When you ask a trusted person for
advice or to evaluate your job performance, become silent, listen intently, and
consider all spoken observations. A simple thank you will suffice when they are
through. Don’t let bitter thoughts invade. Pray to receive and accept any
truths they relate.
Mend arguments with apologies. However,
after a sincere apology, allow the controversial issue to drop, even if the
other person continues to lecture. Remain silent and practice humility. You don’t
have to get in the last word. Silence can often be the most sincere answer.
I am moved by the many times, Jesus told
evil spirits and storms, “Be quiet.” He stopped their rackets and trumped evil
by calling for silence. I am moved when I remember how his disciples “kept quiet”
when Jesus asked what they had been arguing about. They kept silent because
they were guilty of arguing about “who was the greatest.” In poignant reply, Jesus
sat down, called the disciples to join him, instructing, “If anyone wants to be
first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all” (Mark 9:33-35).
Silence deserves a larger stage. Try
lifting the curtains on it among your family and friends. When you stop a volley
of words, they might want a curtain call.
Hunger for Humility (36): “He who
has ears to hear, let him hear.” (Matthew 11:15).
Cathy Messecar welcomes comments at www.cathymessecar.com
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