When Francis was
a child, she made a comment about a special needs child. Overhearing her
conversation, her dad told her not to look down upon anyone whose life or circumstances
caused them personal pain. However, for her preacher dad, the verbal teaching wasn’t
enough. He put legs on his lesson.
He told his daughter that he wanted
her to go for a ride with him. On the road, he told her about his childhood
friend, a girl, who made a habit of making fun of others. Soon, they arrived at
the “girl’s” home, who was now an adult with a family of her own. The minister
knocked on the door, and his friend from childhood was delighted to see him. It
seems he made regular visits to encourage this caregiving mom. After going
inside, the minister introduced his daughter Francis and asked about the wellbeing
of the woman’s family.
He specifically asked about a daughter
named Teresa. The mother replied that all was well, and continued, “Teresa’s
about the same. Do you want to say hello?”
The minister replied yes and led little
Francis into a room where twenty-one-year-old Teresa lay in a bed – her body
held captive by her mind, not advanced beyond that of a two-year-old child.
Recently, the grandmother-aged Francis
related the story to me saying, “I’ve never forgotten the power of that experience.”
If her dad had only verbally chastised her for making fun of someone, the instructions
might have faded, but he wanted to teach a lasting lesson and he succeeded.
This week’s humility lesson, based
on Jeremy Taylor’s rule thirteen encourages believers to “rejoice with those
who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15). Taylor’s (1613-1667) rule thirteen in the language of
his day: “Suffer others to be praised in thy presence, and entertain their good
and glory with delight; but at no hand disparage them, or lessen the report, or
make an objection; and think not the advancement of thy brother is a lessening
of thy worth.”
Let’s say that in Texanese: Make a
habit of praising others, not finding fault. Don’t subtract from that praise by
pointing out some fault of the person’s being. When you hear a good report
about someone else, don’t think poorly of yourself because you don’t have
similar or equal gifts or honors.
I first discovered Taylor’s rules in
Randy Harris’ book, “Soul Work: Confessions of a Part-Time Monk.” Harris
furthers understanding of rule thirteen saying, “If we have a moment of deep
and sudden honesty. . . Taylor catches us here.” He continues, “We all have had
a moment when we heard about somebody’s failure and everything in you said, ‘Yes!’”
Harris further says, “Or we’ve had a moment when we heard about somebody’s
success and everything in us says, ‘Too bad.’”
For me, the rule indicates looking
for a genuine quality in a person and encouraging them by noticing their gift. Too
many people live in a negative atmosphere. Awful things happen to moral people.
Our minds accuse us of missteps. Haughty people delight in pointing out the faults
of others. Family members point out mistakes and rarely overlook minor offenses.
People sorely lack someone who will step up and extend a gentle kindness or congratulate
them on an accomplishment.
After all, everyone has disabilities.
We’re all flawed. No one is perfect. Our inadequacies could have crippled us
for life, but most of us by the grace of God had good souls come along and nurture
our graces. I spent a few days working with Francis, and I saw in her a resolute
spirit of encouraging others to make good choices. Francis is a tough-love
woman with an endearing, fun-loving spirit.
This week, as we all work toward becoming
more humble people, look for the good you see in others, and choose to praise
them. You may have to look a long time at the worse among us, but you’ll find
something to praise. As my husband, David, fondly says, “We’re all bright in
spots.”
Hunger for Humility (week 33): “To speak
evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy
toward all people.” (Titus 3:2 ESV)
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